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04 May 2009 @ 11:35 am

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

15 April 2009 @ 11:49 am
Wow, I didn't realize it had been SOOOO long since I last updated!

Due to today's psychology class I now truly understand why my parents chose to homeschool me and what a priceless gift that has been. In class we talked about four different teaching styles and how only one of them is really beneficial to students and the percentage of teachers out there with that style is only 7%. WOW.

Here are some of the links I've been LOVING lately!


I got this description of this blog (http://imaginationinparenting.wordpress.com/) off of phdinparenting: "Annie at Imagination in Parenting is a wonderful photographer and also a mom of twins that enjoys making homemade food, gifts and crafts. Her blog is full of wonderful inspiration with beautiful photographs chronicling her ideas and thoughts. Whether you are looking for ideas for crafts and other homemade things or just need some beautiful pictures to brighten up your day, go and give Annie’s blog a visit.
One of her recent posts was on paper making with her twins. She has step by step pictures showing the process of creating the gorgeous final product. A great rainy day project for her kids."
27 January 2009 @ 01:01 pm

Here is what I would name them:
Logan Miles 

Huey Wesley (My brother's name.  Huey is a family name that has been used for 5 generations, but only one of them actually when by Huey) 

John Connor (John is my boyfriend... John Connor is a character from Terminator)

Morgan Loftis (Loftis is a family name on John's side of the family.)

Brian Carl (Childhood friend that passed away)

Ethan Thomas (Thomas is John's middle name and many of our grandfathers' names)

Shelby Margaret (Love the name Shelby and it's a family name.  Margaret after my friend)

Kiera Eve (Eve is my middle name.)
20 January 2009 @ 07:51 pm
 I worked on lots of genealogy this past weekend, and today when I heard the Will.i.am song on youtube "Yes We Can" tears started streaming down my face.  "It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores- YES WE CAN"  

We are one people, we are one nation, and together we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea: yes we can.  

01 January 2009 @ 11:15 am

Gurrrrr, I'm on a parenting/pregnancy group online and the subject of co-sleeping came up.... the group was 99% FOR co-sleeping, but they all have stories about family members or friends who give them grief about it.

So here we go.  Can you think of other animals who don't sleep with their babies?  I can't.  Can you think of any biological reason why it makes sense to leave your baby (who can't survive AT ALL without you) to sleep alone in a crib?  With you in bed the baby can have easy access to your breathing patterns, heartbeat and they can breastfeed easier.  Mom and Dad don't have to wake up as much.  It is incredibly RARE  for people to roll over on their babies.  You are aware of your baby like you are aware of the edge of the bed.  Furthermore, it is HIGHLY suspected that SIDS is caused  by babies NOT sleeping with parents.  Crib death it used to be called.   Babies sleeping away from parents is sooooooooooooooooooo unnatural.  It's abandonment, and that's now baby feels. 


27 December 2008 @ 02:03 am

 Tonight I talked to my old friend from middle school, Lucas S.  Can you say MEMORIES?  I do love re-connecting with old friends.  We had SUCH a wonderful talk.  Luke seems like he’s doing so well.  He’s got a steady job, he’s happy (as far as I can tell).  His brothers are doing well. Lucas has been dating the same girl for 3 years and he's really in love.  

 "I hated John." he said.  "Why?" I asked... hehehe, but I knew the answer.  Luke said, "Because he was with you."  

Ah life is interesting.  We were 13 and 14 years old then.  Life is so SERIOUS at that age.  We both caught up... apologized a lot for things that didn't even call for apologies... confirmed that we really did care about each other.  Wondered very briefly what life would have been like had things turned out differently. 

But mostly, we marveled at how freakishly young we were when we knew each other.  It does not seem like that long ago.  I did not feel that young back then.  It’s strange… so strange, to feel like I’m getting old enough to talk about the past with resolution… to talk about the past like it was a long time ago.  Just very recently has the past started to feel like a long time ago. Any past.

I fell so hard for crushes back then.  SOOOO hard.  I remember crying for months because Mat liked Margaret and not me.  I remember thinking that I would never, ever, ever want to be Mathew’s friend again.  But I’ve thought of him as a friend for 7 years.  And Margaret and I survived for sure... our friendship is stronger than ever (I'm so glad she and I never broke up... no heartbreaks there) 

 When Lucas came along I fell h-a-r-d.  And then Luke when to New York over the summer and I met John.  Lucas came back for school and everything was strange between us.  I was getting to know John, but still confused about Luke in the back of my mind. 14 is a difficult age.  I was so bitchy to Lucas after I had John.  Time heals all wounds.  Even middle school heart breaks.  They were real heartbreaks… But, as Brad Paisley says, “pain like that is fast, and it’s rare.”   

As we wrapped up our conversation we told each other how great it was to talk, we said we’d talk again… and then he went to snuggle up with his sleeping girlfriend.  He says that she is “the one” for him, and he asked if I felt that way about John.  “I’m beginning to think so.”  I said.  I had tears in my eyes afterward and my stomach had butterflies. I couldn’t stop praying and thanking God for how it all turned out.  I couldn’t stop whispering, “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.”  Thank you for the memories.  Thank you for the heart breaks.  Thank you for the love.  Thank you for this amazing, supportive, handsome man who’s been in my life and held me for 6 years. 

It’s hard to truly believe when you’re 13 that life really does end with Prince Charming… you just have to have patiences and flexibility.  I was so scared he would never come… but looking back… I really didn’t have to wait long, did I? 

The truth is, it’s not Prince Charming whisking a girl away that leads happily ever after.  Happily Ever After happens once we finally grow into our OWN skin.  Once we finally fit into our own glass slipper.  And end-all-be-all-forever-and-ever TRULY Happily Ever After happens when you find someone who helps you back into your own glass slipper over and over again.  Someone who reinforces all of your strengths and helps you acknowledge all of your weaknesses.   That is when the fairy tale starts.  That’s the love John and I have.

Oh my God, I am so blessed.  I have had the most rich, loving, nurturing, supportive life grown up.  Thank you for my family.  Thank you for the epic girlfriends who have been there through everything: through all of the boys, through the years of Johndrama… and through all of the happy times.  No person on Earth could possibly be blessed with better friendships. Thank you for my life.  



21 December 2008 @ 11:43 am

I seriously think that Jason Mraz interviewed john and me without us knowing and wrote this song about our relationship.  

It’s borderline creepy how word-for-word this sounds like Jason is talking about me. 


Regardless, this is such a beautifully powerful song.  The poetry of it gives me chills.




A Beautiful Mess


You've got the best of both worlds

You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,

And lift him back up again

You are strong but you're needy,

Humble but you're greedy

And based on your body language,

And shoddy cursive I've been reading

Your style is quite selective,

Though your mind is rather reckless

Well I guess it just suggests

That this is just what happiness is


And what a beautiful mess this is

It's like picking up trash in dresses


Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write

Kind of turn themselves into knives

And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction

But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear

'Cause here we are, here we are


Although you were biased I love your advice

Your comebacks they're quick

And probably have to do with your insecurities

There's no shame in being crazy,

Depending on how you take these

Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging


And what a beautiful mess this is

It's like picking up trash in dresses


Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say

Kind of turn themselves into blades

And kind and courteous is a life I've heard

But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt, oh dear

Cause here we are, Here we are

Here we are [x7]

We're still here

What a beautiful mess this is

It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes


Through timeless words, and priceless pictures

We'll fly like birds, out of this earth

And times they turn, and hearts disfigure

But that's no concern when we're wounded together

And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts

But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it.

14 December 2008 @ 06:53 pm
In a book I’ve been reading I came across a quote that caught my eye by a psychiatrist named Ronald Laing.  The first time I read it, it almost sounded offensive, but the second time through, a light bulb came on.  This is the wording I’ve been searching for to convey how modern obstetrics in the United States are not simply over done, but utterly, preposterously, ridiculous. Not to mention dangerous. 

“We do not see childbirth in many obstetric units now.  What we see resembles childbirth as much a artificial insemination resembles sexual intercourse.” 

Would anyone ever, ever, ever use artificial insemination to become pregnant unless they had no other way?  The question isn’t even worth mentioning.  Of course no one would.  Some people even question the morality of such methods.  Fertility treatments are emotionally, if not physically, stressful for many couples, but for those who need it, it can be a blessing.  And it goes without saying that most babies are still conceived by sexual intercourse.

The comparison to hospital intervention versus normal birth should be looked at the same way.  This country has a long way to go.  The big business of obstetrics in America has imprinted the past few generations with the thinking that women and women’s bodies don’t know how to give birth, that childbirth is an agonizingly, painful medical emergency safely managed only under a doctor’s power. 

Hospital birth has been sold to us like formula companies sold bottle-feeding in lieu of breastfeeding. Thankfully, the countless benefits of breastfeeding are widely known now and the thought that we can engineer something better than what naturally occurs with perfection is out dated.
Then why are we still bowing down to obstetric technology and doctors who insist on taking over the natural process of childbirth?  Women have been raped of the spiritual, joyous, empowering experience of childbirth.  Women’s bodies are designed to give birth.  But in the hospital, we are strapped down, plugged in, drugged, and ripped from our involvement of the births of our children. 

Obstetricians are medical doctors; they are trained to find illness and abnormalities.  As the old saying goes, “When what you’ve got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” Many doctors in practice today have never observed a normal childbirth without medical intervention.  For this reason, they don’t realize it can be done, and therefore, tend to approach pregnancy and childbirth as an affliction needing to be cured.  But the truth is the bodies of women, big and small, are designed to give birth and will do so successfully, if the woman is in a low stress environment, with a supportive midwife.  The midwifery model of care monitors the health of mother and baby more closely and constantly and keeps the dignity of the family intact.

One conclusion of the downward spiral of interventions, occurring with alarming frequency, is the doctor-friendly cesarean section.  A cesarean section is major surgery with a greater risk of infection to mother and baby and a longer recovery time than vaginal birth.

New studies are showing that babies born by cesarean section are three times more likely to die in the first month of life.  The World Health Organization says that no nation has any reason to have a c-section rate higher than 10-15%, yet, almost 33% of all babies in America are born by c-section.  In 2006 at Huntsville Hospital, 34% of all babies were born by c-section.  (Alabama Departmen of Public Health: http://www.adph.org/healthstats/index.asp?id=1513)

We are the country that has the second worst newborn death rate in the developed world. 

“Everywhere else in the world you see midwives attending 70 or 80% of all the births, and the United States stands alone.” -Marsden Wagner, M.D., M.S.

 Childbirth is not an emergency, it is an emergence.

If you were told that you could have one of the most physically, emotionally, spiritually, transcendent moments of your life, and here’s the map to get there, would you really say no?  -Elizabeth Davis, CPM Co-director of the National Midwifery Institue, inc.


If you look at what the media does with birth, particularly shows like E.R., people are coming, screaming, into the E.R. as though having a baby is the biggest disaster on Earth and that has imprinted generations of people now.  –Christiane Northrup, M.D. OB/GYN, author. 


When we first put birth into the hospital, decades ago, we treated like it was surgery.  They put her in a wheelchair.  She can walk.  She’s not sick.  –Marsden Wagner, M.D. Director of Women’s and Children’s Health, World Health Organization 1992-1998



We were made to have babies.  Don’t just turn your body over to medicine.  –Lonnie C. Morris CNM Director of Midwifery, Pascack Valley Hospital. 


Marsden Wagner, MD, former Director of Women’s and Children’s Health for the World Health Organization, is concerned about the increased inducing of labor. He says in the film:


Very clear hard evidence in the last 10 years [shows that] the number of women who are induced—that is, their labor is kick-started—is doubling. You kick-start labor by giving them a powerful drug. And then you give them more drugs to keep the labor going. Now, there are about five to ten percent of women in which there's a good medical reason to do this, and you’re saving lives and all that. But if you go above ten percent, you’re not saving lives anymore. These are powerful drugs with all kinds of risks, including brain damage to the baby, a dead baby, a dead woman. And yet we do it twice as much [as we used to]. And there’s so much pain in induction—incredible pain. And so they have to come with all the pain relief and the epidurals and all of that. So we get induction, leading to epidural, which leads to cesarean. And that is what’s happening in this country. Now, why? Did something happen? Did American women’s bodies suddenly go bad? Did American women’s bodies suddenly lose the ability to figure out when it’s time to go into labor? Goodness, no! You know, why do 60 to 80 percent of American women have to have powerful drugs and interventions to their bodies? Well, it has nothing to do with there being anything wrong with their body. And it’s not because of bad doctors. It's a bad system.



Christiane Northrup, MD, a visionary in the field of women’s health and wellness and a board-certified obstetrician–gynecologist, shares her expertise and insight throughout the film. Regarding postpartum depression, she says:


I want women to know that if you’ve had a cesarean birth, an induction, or an epidural, that doesn’t mean you’re not going to bond with your baby or you can’t love this baby, or any of that. Humans are incredibly adaptable. But why adapt if you don’t have to—if you can let your body do what it was designed to do? I believe that the connection between overuse of intervention and postpartum depression is enormous. If women experienced the ecstasy of birth, they would have the high that would get them through the hormonal changes of the next week. Your body and your inner wisdom give you that high.

09 December 2008 @ 11:40 pm
John Connor Slay
Shelby Margaret Slay

Ahhhh..... *dreams*   I just ADORE names.  These kids might actually be real some day.... awesome.  Over dinner with 2 of our close friends at Mi Hacienda last Friday, I randomly asked John, "Do you like the name Shelby for a girl?"  You might be wondering what the looks on everyones' faces were... but believe me, none of them thought twice about it.  Pretty much EVER since they've all known me they've heard me talk about babies.  John pleasantly surprised me by saying, "You know, when you first mentioned it I didn't like it too much, but it's kind of growing on me.  I think I like it alright."  
Yay! My brain washing is working!  I do feel slightly guilty for not letting him take part in the naming of his hypothetical children... but... they are just hypothetical, so I'm largely guilt free.   

Charlotte... it's been running through my mind lately.